Vasectomy : my feedback

Today, just over a month after the operation, I’d like to share my feedback on the vasectomy. It’s rare, at the moment, for me to write posts that don’t include a review of a sextoy. But given the lack of communication on the subject, I thought it would be a good idea to share my experience.

A vasectomy is a minor surgical procedure that allows a person with testicles to become permanently sterile.

But why? Everyone has their own reasons. As far as I’m concerned, it’s all about finally taking charge of contraception. Not letting Wifey take all the responsibility, as has been the case for too many years.

There are other solutions, temporary or permanent, with varying degrees of success. I’ll talk about them but I won’t dwell on them, mainly because of the lack of research on the subject. Today I’m going to tell you about my experience, my journey towards vasectomy.

Please note that this is in no way a medical article!

Since I’ve been in a relationship, contraception has taken various forms. At first it was condoms, then the pill. It’s up to her to manage the daily dose, to release oestrogen and progestin into her body every day…

In our society, it’s a common thing to leave it to the person with a vagina to take care of that. And to the partner with the penis: a free conscience. However, it also has to do with the fact that the urologist is someone I’ve never met. Who I’ll probably meet between the ages of 40 and 50. Whereas a young girl might see a gynaecologist when she’s around 15. There’s already a big difference here, which impacts on the lack of knowledge about contraception methods.

Thirteen years ago, my knowledge of contraceptive methods stopped at the condom (male or female), the pill or the IUD (Intra Uterine Device). Nothing more. So my wife took the pill, which made sense. However, after the birth of our second child, we wanted to stop her taking the risks associated with this cocktail of hormones.

So I looked into other possible solutions that would affect me rather than her. No spermicide, no IUD (Intra Uterine Device), no implant… Nothing for her. And above all, no tubal ligation, as we’d just done for one of our cats!

It was the first and simplest solution, the one we learnt about in sex education lessons at school. But I’ve never been a fan of condoms. I tried dozens of different ones and never managed to find one that gave me enough of the sensations I had without. It limited me so much that it was difficult to ejaculate with it. Pass.

It doesn’t exist. Not yet, not quite. But there is another method, an intramuscular injection of testosterone. The World Health Organisation advises against doing this for more than 18 consecutive months.

Another possibility is to inject a gel into the testicles. This method is used in India in particular. It can be reversed by injecting another product that dissolves the gel.

Wifey told me about it, and there was talk of a ring to wear or heated pants… On the face of it, the results were good but the constraints meant that I didn’t want to turn to this solution. Wearing such a device 16 hours a day seemed complicated.

I would have had to put it on when I woke up at 7am and take it off at 11pm. Was it compatible with sporting activities or not? I didn’t find out any more than that, because I wasn’t keen on the idea.

An invasive solution at the time, it’s still a surgical operation with general anaesthetic, it’s the best solution but it’s definitive. I spent a long time thinking about this solution.

It was during a men’s circle in 2020 that I got my first feedback on vasectomy. I got feedback from a man who was well into his forties and came out with a “It hurt following the operation, I’ve always been embarrassed… and I’ve lost all libido”

Ha… Well… we’ll see later then.

However, it had already been three years since Wifey and I had decided to stop putting her on the pill. Following the birth of our second child, my wife’s libido had also plummeted. It was a complicated period, going from one child to two was really complicated for us to manage and took all our energy.

We didn’t really feel like it any more, and when one of us had the spark, it wasn’t the case for the other. At some point, however, we rediscovered each other, resynchronised and wanted to rediscover each other carnally. That’s when the mental burden fell on him again.

We tried the withdrawal method, but weren’t very comfortable about the reliability of the result (for her). The slightest delay in the cycle was stressful.

We also tried tracking her menstrual cycle using an app. She’d take her temperature, see how it changed and we’d know when we could have sex and when not. It was infuriating, the times when we were most in tune were also the riskiest. And she knew… but I didn’t. Basic miscommunication.

And then I had an epiphany. Aware that I was now 35 and didn’t want to have another child, I took the plunge.

I had only relied on one person’s feedback to block my path to a vasectomy. For those who know me, they’ll say that doesn’t sound much like me. I’m a man of facts rather than feelings… well, usually.

So I went in search of facts to confirm that the only feedback I’d had was an isolated case. That I could do this operation.

No! It changes nothing in this respect. Only the vas deferens, which carry the sperm into the semen, are cut. And spermatozoa represent only a negligible part of the composition of sperm (less than a percent). So you can still have an orgasm, ejaculate and it won’t change the consistency.

I can only speak about my own case, but I really can’t. I’ll explain it later, but I’d had my wisdom teeth removed two weeks earlier. I’ll explain it later, but I’d had my wisdom teeth removed two weeks earlier and I was in a lot more pain than I was for my vasectomy!

Well, no… We’re currently in April. If you start now, you’ll have about 7 months before you can take full advantage of it, so you’ll be able to warm up as you like next winter, but you won’t be able to do so this summer!

There is an unavoidable delay of four months between the first appointment with the patient information sheet and the appointment to confirm the choice of vasectomy. Following the operation, there is then a period of two to three months with a certain number of ejaculations to be achieved before a spermogram is carried out to confirm sterility.

Let’s say yes and no… As I write these lines, the spermogram has not yet been carried out, even though I have the prescription. I paid for two sessions with the surgeon for €50 each, the operation itself cost €500 on an outpatient basis, and I still have a session with the surgeon scheduled after the spermogram.

The €500 has still not been reimbursed (even though it was paid) because the clinic I went to still hasn’t sent me the bill (two weeks later). They explained to me that the invoice would be issued at the end of March due to a problem with the software, and only then would I be able to send the invoice to my health insurance company for the extra fee. But even for the health insurance part, I haven’t yet been reimbursed.

In theory, everything will be reimbursed. In practice, it takes a little time.

This is a permanent method of contraception in the form of a surgical operation for testicle carriers. The aim is to prevent the spermatozoa from mixing with the sperm fluid.

It’s not a question of cutting off the testicles for good; it’s just the canal that carries the sperm. As a result, they get stuck in the testicle and die there.

Except that these lovely spermatozoa have a lifespan of several days and can remain in the vas deferens from a previous ejaculation. It is therefore advisable to ejaculate about thirty times after the operation to ensure that everything is cleaned up.

I took my courage in both hands and really threw myself into this experiment. I’m looking for a urologist close to where I live and have made a first appointment for a fortnight from now.

Meeting with the person who’s going to operate on me, the urological surgeon. I’ve already done my research on the “what”, I don’t have many questions to ask him and, above all, I’ve already made up my mind for a while without putting it into practice.

He tells me that there’s a 3-month period of reflection before the operation, an unavoidable 3 months. That’s just a theory, as one of my colleagues was able to make his decision earlier… But anyway.

So now I’m trying to see if it’s possible to do it more quickly, but no. I didn’t think it would take so long. I didn’t think it would take so long, I’m a bit disappointed to have procrastinated so much.

A new appointment has been set for exactly 3 months from now, and the next one will be long-distance.

In the end, I was in his office for less than 5 minutes, but I took out a cheque for €50 and some documentation. Really? The documentation says that it normally takes four months…

After two appointments via Doctolib (and without having the courtesy to warn me on the phone) of which I was notified by email, I finally had a video appointment with the urological surgeon.

I had gone through all the documents again, looking for any unclear points.

“Do you still want to do the operation? Yes

“Do you have any questions? _”No”

Three minutes of interviews postponed from 26 January and 8 February (although he offered an appointment for 27 February in return). Honestly, I’m fed up that he stood me up twice for three minutes. I was charged €50 by Doctolib.

In the afternoon, the secretary called me and gave me the date of the appointment. She told me that I had the day, but I wouldn’t be given the time until the day before. She gave me various instructions, such as making an appointment with the anaesthetist.

I meet the anaesthetist. He explains how the anaesthetic will work, my first.

“We’re going to inject a product and you’re going to fall asleep and then stop breathing, so we’ll intubate you”.

Erm… What do you mean I’m going to stop breathing? No matter how much he reassures me that he does between thirty and forty of these procedures every month and that the patient always wakes up… I feel a rush of stress.

Apart from the dentist’s injection before treating a cavity, I don’t know of any anaesthetic… And therefore only a local one.

The clinic asked me to fill out a number of documents in preparation for my visit the following week, including an advance directives form.

Fortunately, they confirmed that I didn’t have to fill in the form.

I get a text message saying that the appointment is for 3pm.

Knowing that the anaesthetic protocol requires you to have been fasting since midnight, that’s going to be nice. Fortunately, you can drink up to three hours before the appointed time.

I went through all the documents again and saw a sheet indicating how to shave or depilate the area for the operation. I hadn’t noticed because it said in big, bold, red letters: “The doctor may prescribe depilation”.

Except, as you can see, my urological surgeon didn’t do anything about it. However, I did a bit of research and it turned out that it was compulsory… So at around 11am I find myself cleaning my bursa and shaving it with my beard trimmer, as it’s forbidden to do this with a manual razor. Inevitably, I pinch/cut myself a few times. It’s the first time I’ve shaved anything other than the hair on my head. I’m a bit angry with myself for reading this so late, and a bit angry with the urologist who didn’t tell me about it. He must have thought that I was used to vasectomies and that there was no need to mention that I had to wax for the operation…

My wife and I couldn’t think of anything better than to take delivery of two steres of wood at lunchtime, so I have to finish tidying up by 2pm and I’m very thirsty.

We arrived at the urology clinic at around 2.45pm, so I went to reception and got a ticket. I waited, the minutes ticking by, about 20 minutes, stressed by the passage of time, and finally it was my turn. They check that I’ve filled in all the documents correctly, move me to another area, check my identity, why I’m here and take me to a room.

A nurse arrives a little later, checks my identity and gives me antibiotics, painkillers and a “sun suit” to put on for the operation. I get undressed, put on the paper underwear, pose for a photo and send it to her. Then I put on the rest of the clothes, the hairnet, the bathrobe, the slippers…

I drink 5 centilitres to get the medicine through, put on my clothes and wait. And yes, she had warned me that my operation wouldn’t be until 4.30pm.

A stretcher-bearer came to collect me and took me to a room where I had a venous line put in. Of course, both the stretcher-bearer and the nurse who had just inserted the IV asked me again who I was and why I was there (vasectomy), just to be sure. I joked a bit with the nurse and waited for the stretcher-bearer to take me to the operating theatre waiting room. I wait a few more minutes there, with a blanket over my legs because it’s so chilly!

Finally I was taken to the operating theatre and asked to lie down on the operating table. They give me oxygen and warn me that they’re going to use the venous line for anaesthesia and that I may feel a slight pain.

It stings for a few seconds and then…

I wake up.

I’m feeling S.U.P.E.R. all right. On cloud nine. I feel like I’ve slept forever, I’m zen, rested, I want to take my time. There is other patient next to me, I don’t understand yet but I’ve been taken to the recovery room.

I feel so good, it’s amazing. Absolute fulfilment, and I think to myself that I’ll take the same thing every night. I don’t know how long I can go on like this. After a while, I decide to sit up and I’m wheeled back to my room.

At 5.30 p.m., I told my wife that she could come and collect me and our daughters once the older one had finished training.

I get changed and go on the phone to pass the time. A nurse knocked on the door and came to tell me I could change and bring my lunch. Well, I’d already changed… but they’re bringing me a meal! At last!

A brioche, a compote, a glass of orange juice and a yoghurt. It feels so good to eat and drink something.

Madame arrived around 6.30pm and I walked slowly, a bit like a cowboy, but mainly out of apprehension.

I was warned not to shower tonight, to wait until the next day and to avoid doing any sport straight afterwards. However, I don’t have to worry about being the beast with two backs. I was given a document for my medical leave, a prescription for my sick leave, post-op recommendations and an appointment in June for a post-spermogram after about thirty ejaculations.

That evening, I couldn’t sleep at all. I slept in my boxer shorts, no pain, just a sensation on my left testicle as if it was being squeezed a bit.

I wake up with a sore throat. It maybe linked to having been intubated during the general anaesthetic. I still have this sensation in my left testicle but it’s not pain, more discomfort. On a pain scale of 1 to 10, it would be 1.

So I decide not to take any painkillers, even though it’s also pulling a bit on the stitches. Curious, I wanted to check that the device was working properly. I take a good shower, clean around the stitches but don’t dare go on them.

No problem with ejaculating, 1/30 done. I’m off for the day, so I sit down at my desk and play Baldur’s Gate 3 without embarrassment.

However, in the evening, as I’m picking up my daughters from school, gravity reminds me. I walk like a cowboy to the gate and quite quickly the stationary position becomes complicated. Within ten minutes I was cursing myself for not having taken a painkiller. However, once back in the car, sitting down, it calmed down.

Madame decided to miss her Taiso training to help me get the counter down. There’s a lot of apprehension, perhaps more for her than for me, but we end this D+1 post-op in a very good way.

My daughter has a basketball match in the afternoon and I’m the coach. One of my players stumbles and sprawls on the floor, hurting his knee a bit, and I carry him without thinking from the court to the bench. I spent the whole match on my feet, buoyed up by the adrenaline.

I don’t need any painkillers, I’m still walking like a cowboy, but everything’s going well.

It’s Sunday, the weather’s fine and I decide to mow the field a bit so that we can see the chickens again.

It wasn’t the idea of the century and I find myself with sore waltzes an hour after starting this activity. However, the pain remains slight, barely 3/10. It’s bearable.

As my wife and I continue to lower the meter, I feel a slight pain behind one of my testicles, but not in the testicle itself. I’m not sure how to describe it, it’s strange and not pleasant.

I try to clean the wound thoroughly. It’s the first time I’ve dared to really manipulate the area around the scar. A few hours later, I noticed two white areas of exudate. It’s not red, it’s not swollen… but somehow I wonder if it’s going properly. I still haven’t taken any painkillers.

I’m having trouble falling asleep, so I decide to give myself a little extra help and, as before the operation, I orgasm without ejaculating by squeezing an area between the scrotum and the anus. It still works just as well this way too, but it doesn’t help bring the meter down.

Back to work, except I don’t want to get on my bike to get there – I’ll be teleworking! Still no major pain, apart from a tooth, but that doesn’t count.

The wound seems to be in better condition, although it’s still producing a lot of exudate.

I’m careful when I get in and out of the car, when I get up from a chair… And I still don’t dare get back into my suits.

When evening came, I went to bed in my simplest clothes, which wasn’t a good idea. I hurt myself throughout the night, pulling on the bursa and hence the scar.

I woke up with a bit of clotted blood a centimetre from the scar. That’s what I call sleeping in a birth suit!

It seems to me, but I’ll realise later that it’s not true, that some of the stitches are gone. I’m not putting out an APB though. I notice that my testicles are a bit purplish this morning. It’s perfectly normal, it can happen, it’s just bruising from the operation.

I checked again in the evening under a different light, after a shower and a bit of running during the day. I wanted to see what it was like, as I’ve already gone too many days without any sporting activity.

More embarrassing, especially from a visual point of view, were the scabs around the scar. There’s always some exudate too. It’s not swollen or irritated. In any case, as long as there’s no sign of infection, I’m pretty confident.

On the other hand, the hair regrowth is really “annoying”.

The internal healing is going well, but in relief it’s not the same. I see an upper incision of a few millimetres which gives me the impression that it will remain. It’s clean but open, and the flesh seems to be healed on both sides. This bothers me.

Then the stitch seems to be on the side of the scar, so I’m wondering if it’s been placed correctly… A few days later, I’ll realise that it’s normal and that it’ll be fine, but at the time, I’m not really in high spirits.

The scar has been clean and clear for two or three days. No more exudate, no more crust, it’s clean.

I can clearly see four blue sutures, corresponding to the two external stitches.

I can see another thread which looks flat and dark, perhaps it’s another stitch but internal and the thread is coming out?

In this second week, there’s a clear loss of speed on the actions to decrement the counter but I’d got ahead of myself beforehand.

It’s already been a month since my vasectomy. The teamwork has paid off and I’ve normally evacuated any sperm that may have remained in the ducts. And if not, they must have died of old age. Well, I haven’t reached the recommended 30 ejaculations yet, but I’m going to go all the way and then I can go back to my good old habits.

The skin is lighter where I’d had the incisions, the stitches are still in place, it hasn’t changed visually for a fortnight. I haven’t had the sensation of my left testicle pulling for about a week now, I realise as I write this.

Quite honestly, I don’t feel any difference between the way I was before mid-March and the way I am now.

I see the threads, I see the flesh more clearly. I know I’ve had my operation. It wasn’t a dream. I still have to have a spermogram in mid-May to confirm that I’m sterile, and I can’t wait to see the surgeon so that he can confirm that I’m sterile.

Shortly after M+1, I started massaging the subcutaneous flesh around the stitches to help absorb them and prevent them from sticking. I don’t know if it’s related or not, but the very next day I found myself with a small pimple with a whitish liquid.

Apart from that, and following a discussion with another person (thanks smart75) , I realised that I’d had a variation on the conventional vasectomy. This is a vasectomy without a scalpel. The doctor locates the tubes and holds them in place with forceps. Then, instead of making an incision in each testicle, a “tiny puncture” (as it is called) is made with a special instrument to gently stretch the opening and reach the tubes. They are then exposed and blocked by thermal cauterisation. This would be a more complicated procedure, but with far fewer post-operative complications.

The stitches are always present. I wonder why they’re still there, but the scar looks good, so it can wait a month or so until I see the surgeon.

Spermogram day on 13 May 2024.

I head for the laboratory at 9am and wait my turn. I’m asked for my carte vitale… and I can’t find it in my wallet. Damned! “If you’ve got your health insurance card, we’ll be able to manage just the same, sir”.

OUF!

“Could you please give me your prescription?”

My prescription… And then I whimpered. What an idiot! I came here with my hands in my pockets, “with my dick and my knife”.

I called Madame, who was on her way home from school where she’d dropped the girls off, and she took the document from my pile of files and sent me a photo by courier. Saved for the second time!

I’m asked to fill in a document to find out why I’m coming (post vasectomy), whether I’ve been clean for more than 3 days and less than 5… Do you have to have been clean for less than 5 days? Well, that’s fine by me, but they didn’t tell me that on the phone. Just that I wasn’t allowed to ejaculate for three days beforehand. I was given a piece of paper with a code so that I could retrieve my results later via the internet.

I was taken to the waiting room while they prepared a small room and then I was called.

I’m told that all I have to do is remove the lid from a vial, do my business, close the vial and note down the time of sampling on a document so that they can let me know when it’s ready.

This is what I do, with varying degrees of difficulty. I needed a little visual help but the internet connection wasn’t great over there. Fortunately, the French Red Cross provides Wi-Fi for visitors, which helped.

At 11.07am, I received an email with the results, which I consulted at break time.

*** Drum roll ***

That’s it, I’ve got confirmation that I’m now sterile. I’m shooting blanks!

I’ve still got an appointment next month with the surgeon. I don’t know what the appointment will be for, but it’ll put an end to this adventure.

I wasn’t ready beforehand to have this operation. To “undergo” a vasectomy. I needed to mature in my head. To be sure I didn’t want any more children.

But I can say loud and clear, I’m glad I had the vasectomy.

Today, I have no regrets whatsoever about what I did. My partner is proud of me for having carried out this definitive operation, and relieved, I suppose, that she no longer has to monitor her cycles.

The risk of an unwanted pregnancy is always there. As long as I don’t have the results of a spermogram attesting to the vasectomy, I’ll always have this doubt, this risk.

I’ll update this article next month, adding an M+2 paragraph, Spermogram and (final?) visit with the surgeon.

In the meantime, if you have any doubts, concerns or even feedback on your own experience… I invite you to share them here.