What are my responsibilities to you when I tell you about a sextoy?
Usually, when I find a sextoy I’d like to try out, I contact the brand that makes it and offer them my services. Namely, that they send me the toy in question free of charge. If there are customs charges, I’d like them to take care of it.
In exchange for a review on my blog and exposure of this review on social networks.
Occasionally, brands contact me directly. Whether it’s via reddit, twitter or email.
It doesn’t matter, after that there’s a research phase about the brand and the toy. Once I’ve received it, I do an exhaustive test, write up the story and then publish it.
Collaboration proposal
When a brand contacts me to ask me to test one of their toys, I check a number of things.
Does their shop contain toys that are not made from healthy materials? Or do they offer toys in shapes that involve a risk (such as anal plugs)?
I check the way they communicate, particularly on social networks. Are they inclusive? Do they use questionable words or advertising? I check that they are in line with my values, with my morality clause. Because for me, my responsibilities as a sextoy reviewer start there.
I also check, as far as possible, that the products seem to be well made and that they are not white labeling. This consists of buying inexpensive products in bulk only to resell them at a higher price with your own brand stamped on them. Well… now I’m doing it. And here’s why.
The Metablow case
When the Metablow brand contacted me by email, they wanted me to review a vibrator. So far, so good… almost.
However, the vibrator was designed to stimulate the clitoris or, internally, the G-spot. That’s more complicated.
Born with a penis between my legs, I let them know that I wasn’t the right person to contact for this test. It’s all very simple, but as I don’t have the genitalia in question, I can take photos, write an article… but how can I talk about the product? To say whether it’s good or not?
Clearly, that’s not my way of doing things. I’m not writing articles to sell, I’m here to inform. And if I can’t test the sextoy, how can I give you an informed opinion? How can you trust me?
What’s more, I can’t find anything about this brand other than the Amazon shop, which I can find via the link they sent me.
No presence on social networks, no website, just this Amazon shop window with inexpensive products… They then reassure me that they have an Alibaba shop… I don’t know about you, but that’s far from reassuring.
And if you’ve clicked on the links, does the product shown speak to you?
Please note that these are not affiliate links, I’m not showing them so that you’ll buy, just to provide some context.
Strange similarities
Then I came across a product that bore a striking resemblance to Lulu.
The buttons aren’t exactly in the same place, just like the USB socket, the cover is different… But the overall design is the same, the TPE sheaths are exactly the same, and so are the modes offered by the motor… Three speeds, 10 different modes…
The product can be bought for $100 less per unit, or around $30. Even if the materials look less robust.
I smell a rat!
So I contacted the Utimi brand to find out what was going on. There are two possible explanations. Either they’ve bought an unbranded model, modified it slightly and packaged it in their own way, or their work has been stolen and is now being sold in batches…
But how can I tell what is the truth and what is not?
Unfortunately, I can’t.
What are my responsibilities?
As a sextoy reviewer, what are my responsibilities in the face of this new information?
Can I still publish my review of the Lulu? Should I delete the product sales links? How can I talk about the doubts I have, which I don’t think will ever go away?
What do I expect of myself and what do you expect of me?
If I present you with sex toys, it’s because I’ve established a relationship of trust with the brand or shop. They share values that don’t conflict with mine.
And even though I’m thinking that I may have overreacted by (temporarily?) stopping my collaboration with Utimi… I felt it was important to explain this choice.
Today, despite the patent they have filed and presented to me, despite the fact that I think they are indeed a victim in this… It’s better that I explain what I’ve found. Do it factually. And not incriminate one brand or another.
Because my aim is to bring you my experience so that you can inform yourself. To help you decide whether or not a sextoy is right for you. And today, I’d recommend caution with the Lulu, and even more so with the Metablow brand.
This, I think, is where my responsibilities lie as a sextoy reviewer.